On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize