Cold hands, warm shart.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting married
To pizza
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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