I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Acid is not a monday night drug
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize