I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize