also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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