just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
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We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
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listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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