Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
These tits shall not be calmed
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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