I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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