I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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