i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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