he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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