"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
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