If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
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I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
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I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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