I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize