when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
he fucked my hip out of place.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
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That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
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You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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