Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize