apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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