You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize