oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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