I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize