Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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