i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
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i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
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I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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