I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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