so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
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