we have officially lost it.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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