remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize