first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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