i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
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We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
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I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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