Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize