So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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