"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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