why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
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I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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