Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
worst night to have a conscience
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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