there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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