he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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