Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(916): View more from California

is it cool if i come over and use your computer?

(1-916): View more from California

what happened to yours?

(916): View more from California

i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.

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(916): is it cool if i come over and use your computer? (1-916): what happened to yours? (916): i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink. http://tfl.nu/idhb

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you

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(617): I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you http://tfl.nu/59jr

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(207): View more from Maine

No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.

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(207): No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have. http://tfl.nu/1nc6

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(201): View more from New Jersey

so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?

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(201): so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA? http://tfl.nu/qz9z

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(631): View more from New York

"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......

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(631): "fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house...... http://tfl.nu/xvur

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans

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(502): Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans http://tfl.nu/uc1m

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(604): View more from British Columbia

People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky

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(604): People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky http://tfl.nu/clbn

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(631): View more from New York

I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...

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(631): I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever... http://tfl.nu/ojc2

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(302): View more from Delaware

I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.

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(302): I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket. http://tfl.nu/5q0l

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(919): View more from North Carolina

porn star boner night. come get it.

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(919): porn star boner night. come get it. http://tfl.nu/vz2z

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(859): View more from Kentucky

In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.

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(859): In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing. http://tfl.nu/n1s5

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(217): View more from Illinois

I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them

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(217): I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them http://tfl.nu/sgxd

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am

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(724): I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed. (412): I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am http://tfl.nu/5n3j

Replies (9) Good night (2821) Bad night (670)
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(616): View more from Michigan

I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??

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(616): I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask?? http://tfl.nu/g9zb

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(509): View more from Washington

Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...

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(509): Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night... http://tfl.nu/llkl

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