Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize