what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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