Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You have to summon your inner elephant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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