you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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