come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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