"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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