girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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