i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize