Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
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your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
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Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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