We won't sleep together?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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