and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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