I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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