Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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