They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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